Locals Raise Money By Drowning A Saturn

"SteveLehto" (stevelehto)
02/15/2015 at 09:00 • Filed to: None

If you have ever lived in a small town, you know all about fundraisers - pancake breakfasts and all-you-can-eat spaghetti dinners. Well, the Rotary Club of Iron Mountain (MICH) came up with a good one. They are taking bets on when a 1998 Saturn will fall through the ice.

If you are from another part of the world - i.e., "Not the Upper Peninsula of Michigan" - you may not understand its quirky nature. Michigan has two peninsulas and the lower one - shaped like a mitten - is the one most people are familiar with. The Upper Peninsula is often overlooked because it is far away, very north, less populated than the lower, and sometimes !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! happen up there.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

So for those of us familiar with the UP, the !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! makes complete sense. Buy your ticket and maybe win a grand.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Locals got a donor Saturn and have parked it on the ice which covers the site of a now-flooded abandoned mine. Sometime in the very distant future, that ice will melt enough for the Saturn to fall through. The moment the car goes into the drink determines the winner. And don't worry. They drained the fluids from the Saturn and have a tether on it so they can fish it out in the spring. It's all in the name of fun and a good cause.

The bad news is that there is no way for us to enter without actually going to Iron Mountain and buying an entry form locally. If they could do this on the internet, they'd make a killing. I would gladly pay to see a dashcam feed from the winning moment.

Oh, and I am sorry for those of you who saw the lead paragraph and thought this story involved a rotary ENGINE and not a club. Common misunderstanding. Those guys get that all the time.

Follow me on Twitter: !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

Hear my podcast on iTunes: !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

Steve Lehto has been practicing law for 23 years, almost exclusively in consumer protection and !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! He wrote !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! and !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .

This website may supply general information about the law but it is for informational purposes only. This does not create an attorney-client relationship and is not meant to constitute legal advice, so the good news is we're not billing you by the hour for reading this. The bad news is that you shouldn't act upon any of the information without consulting a qualified professional attorney who will, probably, bill you by the hour.

DISCUSSION (100)

Rainbow > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 09:16

Kinja'd!!!

For some reason I can't reply normally.... But anyway, just out of curiosity, are they counting the minute it first touches the water, or the minute it's fully submerged? I imagine there will be a few hours in between, unless it manages to stay on the surface very, very long.

SteveLehto > Rainbow
02/15/2015 at 09:23

They seem to think it will crash through but I am not privy to how they determine the winner this year.

vdub_nut: scooter snob > Rainbow
02/15/2015 at 09:25

I don't have an answer to your question, but I will tell you that due to their light nature (and that one appears to be an extremely light 2nd gen base model), they will damn near float as is, aside from the piss poor build quality which would let in water (or, as the case is with mine, frigid air coming in through the speaker mount in the door). Seriously, a bunch of silicone caulk in the doorwells and firewall, and these things will float. (though most cars would, albeit poorly)

Justin Hughes > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 09:33

A rotary powered Saturn SL1... (I can tell from the 14" wheels.) that would be pretty cool. I say the Rotary Club should take that on as a spring project, after the car's been fished out of the water.

Sportwägen, Driver Of The Red Sportwagen > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 10:04

They really do need an internet live feed! The demographic for this type of event is surprisingly large!

shop-teacher > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 10:19

Oh, those crazy yoopers!

Tohru > Rainbow
02/15/2015 at 10:27

We do this stuff in Wisconsin too. There's a battery-powered clock on the floor of the car. When it gets wet, it stops working. The time on the broken clock is used to determine the winner.

Steve in Manhattan > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 11:35

Saw a contest in Belgium once where a cow wandered around on a grid - the winner was the person who picked the square where the cow took a dump.

SteveLehto > Steve in Manhattan
02/15/2015 at 12:03

I remember that one. Amazing what passes for entertainment in some places.

Steve in Manhattan > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 12:04

Clarkson had a show called Meet the Neighbours - that's where I saw it.

Iwaswonderofwonders > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 12:17

As a guy who has a 96 SL1 as a DD, I should be appalled by this.

Strangely, I'm not.

JohnDoeIII > vdub_nut: scooter snob
02/15/2015 at 12:20

After Hurricane Katrina I learned my Mom's old beater 91 Accord was a floater.

LongbowMk2 > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 12:21

I first heard about this type of thing from a Neil Gaiman book. It was set in rural Wisconsin.... Just check the trunk.

NoahthePorscheGuy > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 12:21

WHAT IS THE FREAKING ROTARY CLUB. I SEE THE SIGNS EVERYWHERE AND GOOGLE NEVER MAKES SENSE

TCInternet > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 12:21

Neil Gaiman used this practice as a plot device for his novel American Gods. Only, uh, in the book, a serial-killer kobold would lock dead children in the trunk, effectively hiding them forever.

Gulp.

SteveLehto > NoahthePorscheGuy
02/15/2015 at 12:23

No one knows. NO ONE.

symbolsix > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 12:26

I hope they've checked the trunk for human sacrifices.

Axel-Ripper > Tohru
02/15/2015 at 12:30

Well Iron Mountain is basically Wisconsin anyways so that would explain it.

SteveLehto > symbolsix
02/15/2015 at 12:30

There was a noise coming from the trunk but it has quieted down recently. No need to check the trunk anymore.

Hammerfrog > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 12:32

anyone read American Gods by Neil Gaiman? Something pretty similar happens in the book.

Misterfixit > Hammerfrog
02/15/2015 at 12:36

That is immediately what I thought of as well.

dogisbadob > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 12:39

Kinja'd!!!

ooooo, orange hubcaps

Troll is English for Troll > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 12:41

Take note Chevy.

Because THIS IS NOT HOW YOU DIP A CAR!

Troll is English for Troll > Iwaswonderofwonders
02/15/2015 at 12:42

BRO.

It's a Saturn.

mattard > Steve in Manhattan
02/15/2015 at 12:43

That happened at my high school in vt too.

flabberboozled > Hammerfrog
02/15/2015 at 12:43

Yeah, let's hope this isn't quite the same as American Gods.

Iwaswonderofwonders > Troll is English for Troll
02/15/2015 at 12:49

I know. But mine has only 84k on the clock and a 5sp and it's been the most reliable car I've ever owned. I've owned a bunch of cars too... 3 Saabs, a 450 SEL and a 220D W123, several trucks, several slant 6's, a duce and a quarter I took to a crusher (gladly).... the list goes on...

Mercwri > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 12:51

Check the Trunk for missing children used as sacrifice for the Town's prosperity and longevity.

gergey - Wishes vette was Datsun > Steve in Manhattan
02/15/2015 at 12:56

I've seen that at fall fairs in Canada.... though chicken poop bingo (same idea, only with a really big grid and a chicken) is a lot more common / popular.

DConsorti > flabberboozled
02/15/2015 at 12:57

Yep! As soon as a read the headline, that came to mind? Let's just hope there's no one in the trunk

occamsrezr > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 12:59

someone tell shadow that the body is in the trunk.

Password is Taco > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 13:02

Kinja'd!!!

stevegravelle > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 13:08

This has been pretty common in Minnesota for at least 30 years. Drain all fluids, remove gas tank, battery, seats etc.

sadfasdf > Steve in Manhattan
02/15/2015 at 13:11

How big was the grid and was it fenced in?

Because if the answers are "not very," and "yes," then anyone who didn't bet on one of the edge squares was a fool.

SteveLehto > stevegravelle
02/15/2015 at 13:16

According to the article, they were doing here for a long time as well. Turns out this is not that rare in that regard.

Steve in Manhattan > sadfasdf
02/15/2015 at 13:25

Pretty big, and fenced in. Watch Clarkson's Meet the Neighbours Belgium episode. Almost certainly on YouTube.

Prophet of hoon > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 13:37

I'm behind this, except it should be an import... send it back into the water :-)

Still, Rotary club does such good work - it's a clever way to raise money for such a worthy cause.

However, I saw Day after Tomorrow, doesn't Michigan freeze for 10 billion years (okay, I didn't watch all, or even much of the movie)... how does one collect in that case? Will Al Gore's internet still be available to check to see if I've won? will it really matter if I played?

How's that for the parade of horribles?

F1guy hates duck billed F1 cars > Steve in Manhattan
02/15/2015 at 13:37

Take a few shots with the homies, and that would be the most entertaining event ever. That sounds like the perfect post-alcohol/during-alcohol activity ever.

Prophet of hoon > JohnDoeIII
02/15/2015 at 13:38

It was a floater long before Katrina

Prophet of hoon > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 13:38

You mean like the nuts who are betting when a car will fall through the ice? the cow bit sounds almost sane.

Prophet of hoon > Iwaswonderofwonders
02/15/2015 at 13:40

You have trouble finding cars that are, well, good...

Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man > Steve in Manhattan
02/15/2015 at 13:40

bah, Still to this day, people in our city place bets at the local college homecoming parade by placing stickers on main street where they think a horse will poop.

JohnDoeIII > Prophet of hoon
02/15/2015 at 13:49

LOL....But she was a tough floater, hahahaha. One day I watched a 02 Malibu rear end it and the only damage to the Accord was a ding on the rear bumper and the Malibu had to have its whole front end replaced.

Iwaswonderofwonders > Prophet of hoon
02/15/2015 at 13:54

No, I appreciate cars that are interesting. What is your exemplars of good? Camry? Altima?

'69 tego > Hammerfrog
02/15/2015 at 13:56

One of the guys isn't named Hinzelmann is he???

better check the trunk

Domtv7 > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 13:56

I am in the autotech class that stripped this car down! I'll suggest to them to do it online next year as well

'69 tego > NoahthePorscheGuy
02/15/2015 at 13:57

it's classified.

it's so classified that if I tell you i'll have to kill myself

smalleyxb122 > NoahthePorscheGuy
02/15/2015 at 13:59

According to their website (and copied on Wikipedia), they are an inclusive philanthropic organization. Just a bunch of guys getting together to give back. When it was founded in 1905, they had no headquarters, so meetings would rotate between the offices of its various members, hence the name.

Overall, not quite as enigmatic as the Masons.

SteveLehto > Domtv7
02/15/2015 at 14:00

And put a gopro on the dash.

Thanks for the note.

Troll is English for Troll > Iwaswonderofwonders
02/15/2015 at 14:01

Damn. Okay. More power to you then. :P

Called_Strike_4 > Tohru
02/15/2015 at 14:03

Yup, i grew up in Wisconsin, we used to use a Tahoe.

Iwaswonderofwonders > Troll is English for Troll
02/15/2015 at 14:03

I love crappy cars that are trouble. When I find a reliable one, it makes me wonder.

TheCarHipster > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 14:04

What a waste of a Saturn, kids in Africa could of eaten that Saturn

Dr-Davis > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 14:08

In Guilford, Maine there is a yearly raffle for when a snowmobile will fall through the ice into the Piscataquis river. We also used to have a raffle in my hometown (Cambridge, ME) during the now defunct Cambridge Days Fair—they would drain a car of oil, then raffle off times for how long it would run at full throttle before seizing (usually a little over 2 mins).

Kevin Barrett > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 14:14

Kinja'd!!!

Aw man, and this one looks like it was in really good shape. :(

ShouldHaveBoughtaFERD > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 14:14

Nee do Somthing similar to this in northern Canada on the Mackenzie river. Set up a teepee on the river and everyone buys hour slots on any given day around the time of break up. Whoever guesses right gets half the money raised.

ranwhenparked > NoahthePorscheGuy
02/15/2015 at 14:29

My old boss required me to join one. Its a bunch of 70+ year olds that get together in the back room of dive restaurant every other week and listen to presentations on the current state of polio eradication.

sdwarf36 > Domtv7
02/15/2015 at 14:31

Hell-you still got 2 months-do it this year!

Tohru > Axel-Ripper
02/15/2015 at 14:49

not sure if serious...

Nate with shorter name > smalleyxb122
02/15/2015 at 14:57

That is just the surface of Rotary club, they are much deeper and much more sinister.

Anybody who tells you otherwise is either unaware or part of the conspiracy. Sort of like the "state of Idaho " or the "town of Bielefeld" some people act like they exist , but they aren't really there.

Axel-Ripper > Tohru
02/15/2015 at 15:01

Kinja'd!!!

Quite actually.

No Longer Suffering Saturn > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 15:04

As a former owner all I can say is not soon enough.

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 15:17

Once they fish the thing out, LeMons car!

DavidHH > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 15:54

The reasons most people avoid the Upper Peninsula of Michigan are during the warmer months:

Kinja'd!!!

The Black Fly and the Stable Fly really want your blood, and have the means of biting thru your skin, in the most painful way. They have a mouth that is like an electric jigsaw pr sawzaw. and they carve you open.

Jake Schofield > Iwaswonderofwonders
02/15/2015 at 16:25

Do you apply the same rule for dating women? How is it working out?

Prophet of hoon > Iwaswonderofwonders
02/15/2015 at 16:28

Corvette, Camaro, Mustang, 4x4 trucks (not cute Utes), Jeeps...

Prophet of hoon > JohnDoeIII
02/15/2015 at 16:30

the takeaway from that is don't hit your brakes if you're going to rear-end someone... gas pedal is your friend (not so much theirs, but they're going to sue you for all your insurance anyway)

Malforus > Steve in Manhattan
02/15/2015 at 16:46

Cow pie bingo was and still is done in my home town.

Malforus > Hammerfrog
02/15/2015 at 16:47

Pretty sure Gaiman heard about this kind of thing, these kinds of events have been going on for decades.

Malforus > Iwaswonderofwonders
02/15/2015 at 16:48

Saturn 5 speeds just last forever. The SC1's are actually really great fun-car slow and with some small modifications can do pretty well in auto-cross.

SessileRaptor > stevegravelle
02/15/2015 at 16:54

Yeah, the town I grew up in the rotary club used the same car every year. Dragged it out and cleaned it up so it wouldn't rust, then one of the guys stuck it in the back of his pole barn until the next year. IIRC they tracked the time via a cable attached to a clock on shore. When the car went under the cable pulled a pin and stopped the clock.

KidneyHabit > Tohru
02/15/2015 at 17:00

I remember in Stevens Point, they used to do this every year on McDill Pond. I wasn't sure these types of contests were still around!

Iwaswonderofwonders > Jake Schofield
02/15/2015 at 17:51

You are correct sir. And not so much.

Aliens Ate My Buick > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 18:30

Did it leave a ring?

Ajay_Offroad > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 18:34

The Bark River Lions Club has been doing this for a couple of years in Escanaba, MI. Here is a local newspaper article about it from a couple of years ago. They use it as a fundraiser and advertising for the UP Offroad 100.

Kinja'd!!!

http://www.dailypress.net/page/content.d…

IDROVEAPICKUPTRUCK > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 18:39

This is your daily reminder that Jeff Daniels' masterpiece Escanaba in da Moonlight is available on Netflix

I Will Always Be The Honey Badger > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 19:22

Kinja'd!!!

Donate amphibious car. Pick July 1st. Profit.

ldympr > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 19:41

Kinja'd!!!

Tied to a clock and when it breaks it stops the clock.

I like the car idea better tho....

zeontestpilot > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 19:52

This just proves my theory of why MI is the best state...ever. Makes me proud to be born a Upper, raised a troll. :D

Daylightmojo > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 20:47

We've been doing this in NW Iowa for a while now, always the talk of the town on dropping day!

http://www.dickinsoncountynews.com/story/2165194.…

drivesatruck_notaredneck > Steve in Manhattan
02/15/2015 at 21:05

Yeah they used to do that at my middle school. On the soccer field. "Cow patty bingo" don't know if they still do it. That was like 5-10 years ago.

AKBrian > SteveLehto
02/15/2015 at 23:13

Everybody should have a regional "thing breaking through the ice" contest. They're the best, really.

Going to be time soon for ours: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nenana_Ic…

Rumble Kar > Hammerfrog
02/16/2015 at 02:37

Yup. Read the headline and thought about that trippy adventure of a book

thecactusman17 > SteveLehto
02/16/2015 at 02:49

Glad to see someone doing something productive with a Saturn.

/what do you mean it "doesn't run?"

SteveLehto > thecactusman17
02/16/2015 at 07:14

I suspect it has bodyfit issues as well.

icelandr > SteveLehto
02/16/2015 at 07:24

Seen this done many different years. I forget the town, but along the road from Langdon to Rolla North Dakota. Many years in a row. Never bought or was around when it went through. There wouldn't be any pressure ridges helping like if you drive across the ice and go in, so it might be a slower sink as the ice weakens up.

Bakkster, touring car driver > Axel-Ripper
02/16/2015 at 12:09

YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!!!!

It's amazing how much of a blend it is around that area. Driving in you oscillate back and forth across the border several times. And, when you talk about the local NFL team, it's unsurprisingly the packers in much of the state. Heck, it's a closer drive to Minneapolis or Chicago from there than to Detroit.

Bakkster, touring car driver > SteveLehto
02/16/2015 at 12:14

Being familiar with the UP, I'm betting sometime in May at the earliest.